99 Pro Christian Bumper Sticker Messages That Are Funny

Bumper stickers are stickers attached to cars, and they are often intended to communicate or convey a message to occupants of other cars as well as pedestrians.

They can carry messages ranging from humor to personal philosophies to allyship and even religious dogma. 

That being said, many Christians actually take advantage of bumper stickers to spread their faith and introduce it to people.

These bumper stickers are often direct and understandable and the owners are careful to add some bits of humor and cleverness to spice things up. 

Below is a very long list of pro Christian Bumper sticker messages, some of which will crack you up. Let’s dive right in..

1. I’m too broke to pay for my sins; Thankfully, Jesus has settled the bill. 

2. “If you’re living like there’s no God, you’d better be right”

3. Do you follow Jesus this closely?

4. Not today Satan; Not today!

5. “Far-Right. Conservative. Christian. Gun Owner. How else can I piss you off today”?

6. “Honk if you love Jesus, text if you want to meet Him”

7. “Got Jesus? It’s the best free gift you’ll ever receive”

8. “Most people get high off weed, I get high off the Word Of God.”

9. “When schools had prayers and bibles, they had no drugs”

10. “Kindness is hard to give away because it keeps coming back”

11. “A life without Jesus is a dead-end street”

12. “Sin will fascinate and then assassinate. Sin will thrill and then kill(Romans 6:23)”

13. “Let the Bible be your GPS.”

14. “The Supreme Court opens with prayers. Why can’t public schools do the same”

15. “Only Jesus arose from the dead to die no more’

16. “How beautiful are the bumpers that preach the good news”

17. “Talk to me son, I’m here for you more than anyone else- Jesus”.

18. “Those who will not be governed by God will be ruled by tyrants”

19. “Jesus died for you. It’s only fair that you live for him, don’t you think?

20. “If you were on trial for being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict you”

21. “I wish they were as determined to keep drugs out of schools as they are, the Holy Bible”

22. “Jesus is right for whatever’s wrong in your life”

23. “There is a problem if your Bible is as dusty as the old car in your garage”

24. “Nothing will cook your goose faster than a red hot temper”

25. “Every conception deserves a chance at life. You exist today because someone believed that”

26. “Jesus went about doing good; don’t just go about”

27. “Money is not all you need to save; you should also save sex for marriage”

28. “America’s only hope is to go back to God and the Bible”

29. “Godly people miss out on a lot of things including STDs, hangovers, unwanted pregnancies and….hell”

30. “The good life is the one that Jesus gives; you won’t get that from a club house”

31. “Life can be hard but with drugs, it’s impossible”

32. “One of the coolest things in life is to remain a virgin till marriage”

33. “Cigarettes kill, alcoholism ruins, fornication destroys but Jesus saves”

34. “Jesus is my best friend, i don’t mind sharing him with you though”

35. “They kicked God out of the schools and then sing “God bless America”

36. “The Big Bang theory is a joke. An explosion in a print shop couldn’t possibly create a dictionary”

37. “Public schools need the ten commandments, especially the “Thou shall not kill” part. ”

38. “Many who plan to seek God at the 11th hour unfortunately die at 10:30”

39. “The secret to my success? It is found in the Bible. ‘In all thy ways, acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths. Dr George Washington Carver

40. “Abortion is not a right, it is a wrong”

41. “The Bible says Mary was with child not with a blob of tissue”

42. “When prayer was held in public schools, they didn’t hear gunshots”

43. “What has happened to Christmas? Jesus died for yours sins, not Santa Claus”

44. “When recruiting, the devil paints a beautiful picture of sin but he’ll is horrible”

45. “Christian Under Construction”

46. “Drugs and Alcohol- A little lift as you go further downhill”.

47. “God sends you flowers every spring, thank him”

48. “Abstinence till marriage, some STDs will stay with you forever”

49. “Don’t let some directionless scumbag steal your precious virginity”

50. “Any sex that can put you in hell isn’t safe”

51. “Hey Teens! Self control beats birth control”

52. “Is smoking really worth 8 or 10 years off your life”

53. “If you believe in evolution, i have a room for rent at the White House”

54. “The family that prays together stays together”

55. “Dying for him was the most He could do, living for him is the least you could do”

56.”Abortion is really one of the leading causes of missing children in America”

57. “Jesus is my co-pilot, but I let him drive”

58. “Don’t make me come down there- God”

59. “I’m not just a Sunday Christian. I am an everyday follower of Christ”

60. “Jesus paid it all, but you’ll still have to pay for that mortgage, buddy”

61. “Jesus loves you but I’m his favorite”

62. “God has a perfect plan for your life. You just haven’t given him the chance to share it with you”

63. “Don’t let your worries get the best of you; let God get the rest of you”

64. I’m not weird, I’m just a limited edition”

65. “Only one life will soon be past- Only what’s done for Christ will last”

66. “Prayer: the original wireless communication”

67. “One nation under God. Let’s keep it that way, America”

68. “Jesus is pro-life”

69. “If you kneel before God, you can stand before anyone”

70. “Sins are like a credit card. Enjoy now, pay later”

71. “Too blessed to be depressed”

72. “If you don’t like the way you were born, try being born again”

73. “ASAP- Always say a prayer, even when things are rocky”

74. “When temptation knocks, send Jesus to the door”

75. “Headed in the wrong direction? God allows U-turns”

76. “In case of rapture, this car will be unmanned”

77. “A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing”

78. “My boss is a Jewish carpenter”

79. “Don’t worry about tomorrow, you did that yesterday”

80. “To get a better preacher, pray for the one you got”

81. “The 10 commandments are not multiple choice”

82. “Triumph is “umph” added to try”

83. “Jesus is my savior, not my religion”

84. “No matter who is pope, Jesus is King”

85. (Born)²

86. “This car is prayer conditioned”

87. “Truth decay? Brush up on your Bible”

88. “As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools”

89. “God is at the end of your rope”

90. “Forbidden fruits create many jams”

91. “Amateurs built Noah’s ark, professionals built the Titanic”

92. “Be fishers of men. You’ll catch ’em, He will clean ’em'”

93. “Keep calm and pray on”

94. “God chooses you and He’s right”

95. “God’s health care plan is Jesus Christ. By his stripes, we are healed”

96. “If you must curse, use your own name- God”

97. “Today’s weather forecast- Jesus reigns”

98. “Love is when a man wipes your tears even when you left him hanging on the cross”

99. “FAITH- forwarding all issues to heaven”